College Diet

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Why do most diets fail? As a veteran dieter with nearly eight years’ experience, I have acquired enough knowledge to answer this question. Those who readily jump into new diets are looking to realize possible goals through impossible methodology. At age ten, I stumbled upon some propaganda which would form the foundation of my first “diet”, titled Encantos Magicos (Portuguese for “magic spells”). That little book instantly fascinated me with the possibility of acquiring money from just following simple daily rituals. With each page turned, I felt a growing anxiety to finally begin my “Magic Spell” diet, yet only after hours of persistent “pleases” and “why nots” did my mother relinquish enough of her common sense to buy the items my new diet required. With several candles, essential oils, feathers, amulets, and a chalice in hand, I began casting all sorts of spells to acquire a hundred reals (Brazilian currency which would be the equivalent of 33 dollars), an amount equal to a million in my young mind. Although I devoted a great deal of my time to my diet, it seemed all efforts I spent on casting new magical spells inevitably ended in failure, since those hundred reals never found their way into my pocket.Undaunted by the results of the magic spell diet and others that had reached the same end, I decided to venture into yet another new diet. At fifteen, I believed going on a strict diet of punk music could forge a friendship between myself and another individual with an affinity for the genre. I immediately conducted a search on Napster for punk songs and proceeded to download as many as my hard drive could hold. Every day I listened to several new songs and educated myself on a variety of punk bands and the songs each of those bands had recorded, in case my commitment to the diet were to be tested. Although I discovered there were some punk songs I enjoyed during the diet, I felt mostly apathetic towards the genre. My false interest and enthusiasm couldn’t mask my general indifference towards punk music and the other individual saw through the facade. After three months of devotion to the punk diet, I lost the free space on my hard drive and most importantly, the respect of a possible friend.Even though I have attempted a multitude of other diets aside from the magic spell and punk diets, the failures and disappointments I have experienced won’t wane my persistence. Whereas my most elaborate spells could not bring me a single penny, I discovered that performing a few extra chores for my mother had an opposite effect. I was also able to establish meaningful friendships when I based them on real shared interests, for I learned fake connections are the quickest to disintegrate.In addition, I have been introduced to new experiences I would have been averse to otherwise, which the five remaining punk songs on my hard drive can attest to. Hence, the true reason behind the failure of diets is the triumph of individuality, for each one of my failures cleared a new path in my search for self-truth. I’m not quite sure which diet I will undertake next, but I have been anxious to try that college diet.

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